We break down the latest turd sandwich dressed as environmentalism served to Californians. The Small Engine Ban.
In a decade of spectacular self inflicted decline, the one time economic powerhouse of has paved a road of ruin to hell with the best of intentions. The California small engine ban is only the latest, but quite possibly the most serious threat to not only Public Safety, but Public Health as well. That’s a serious charge, but easily backed up with dangerous things called facts and details. We’ll break #DipshitsLaw down for you in ways that relate to everyday tasks that must take place for society to be able to function at even the most basic of levels.
AB1346 is the innocuous name of a bill. Like the harmless virus on a shelf in the Umbrella Corporation. What could go wrong? The idiocrocay brigade sobbed into microphones, robo-filled petitions, and public comment forms. Half understood information from half read articles based on conjecture, complaint, and unreviewed experiments fueled the steamroller of one party legislative agendas. “Let’s ban small engines” they shout smartly dressed in Eco Chic fashions. The assembled small scale organic farmers were immediately alarmed. So were the eco-fiber growers. We’ll get back to the petty needs of the little people later on.
Swim Up Extension Cord Sales
Of course it didn’t occur to Dipshit before enacting a small engine ban that there was a massive backlog of electrical goods still bound for first round production off shore from California’s ports. Now, you need a 250 foot extension cord to mow your lawn. Yup. 250 feet minimum for a standard size house lot. Add 200 feet if you have hedges. Of course, you could mow your lawn 20 minutes at a time with an 8 hour charge time. That’s if there aren’t rolling blackouts. It’s not as if actual people will have to deal with the real world consequences of a small engine ban. Landscapers can barely find a place to piss let alone a socket to plug into.
There are 7.5 million single family homes in California. Let’s do some fun math.
7,500,000 X 200 feet of extension cord per home, comes to 1,500,000,000 feet of extension cord. Enough to circle the earth nearly 11 1/2 times and weighing in at 2 Billion 7 hundred million pounds of copper. The cost would be a staggering $11.5 Trillion dollars in just raw copper. Not counting the production needs to supply the order. Don’t worry though, It’s only $100 a cord at current prices when it’s not mandated at gun point. Don’t act like you never saw a California police office draw his gun over a lawn mowing call. Then of course, there’s that tiny little bit about needing to mine trillions of tons of copper to satisfy a small engine ban for just homeowners.
This doesn’t even cover the cost of a whole new set of lawn care equipment. We haven’t even touched the surface of other types of engines covered under the ban. Like the little people who’s business, jobs, and customers who will suffer, we’ll get back to them.
Snips & Snails & Ritty-Rat Tails
Common pests and rodent populations are the first to explode when the small engine ban effects sewer cleaning contractors. Sewer contractors use a small engine powered pressure washer to break up clogs with water jets. There is already an existing service backlog based on contractor reports. As machines break and no current machine exists to replace a now banned tool, sewers will begin to fail. The mold mildew and algae normally cleaned in every neighborhood across California will as a result also go uncleaned. A small engine powers water pumps and chemical proportioners that allow buildings and homes to be free of mold inside and out.
Most refer to this vital, but often overlooked service, as pressure washing. Pressure washing is a series of related services that revolve around the use of a pressurized water pump combined with soaps and fittings to clean a wide range of surfaces from dumpsters to hospitals. The result is a clean and sanitary area that creates the sanitary barrier we rely on for daily living.
California has already had confirmed incidents of Plague carrying rats in several large Metros throughout the state. A continued degradation of basic municipal care through a small engine ban will only increase the possibility of a far more deadly public health emergency. The Plague killed a third of the world’s population after a series of hard winters that weakened the population. The long emergence from a prolonged pandemic exacerbated by poverty driven malnutrition, certainly qualifies as a weakened population. It’s just the invisible people, nobody really cares unless there’s a potential for person fame through crusadership.
It’s all fun till shit gets real
Small engines are the first mechanical rescue devices used in an emergency. There is no replacement for generators or chainsaws when the power goes out. California already has electrical capacity issues. As a result, the risk of cascade failure becomes greater. You’ll be safe from the shreiks of the Karen herd, but you might die screaming as a forest fire sweeps through. All that aside, you can scrape feces off your shoes due to the uncleaned streets as you attend an environmental awards ceremony. Perhaps you can ponder what to do with the invisible people over drinks on Martha’s Vineyard.
